The Day that True Love Died

Just a reminder this weekend...

Phil Wickham - "True Love"

Come close listen to the story
About a love more faithful than the morning
The Father gave his only Son just to save us

The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Fathers broken heart
Tears were filling heavens eyes
The day that true love died, the day that true love died
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that true love died, The day that true love died

Search your hearts you know you can't deny it
Lose your life just so you can find it
The Father gave his only son just to save us

Jesus is alive
He rose again

iTunes Shuffle-Sleeping to Dream

Well, it's been a little bit since I've entertained you with some iPod music :). Today's song is special...and here's why...

Years ago, a friend of mine left for a year to live in Seattle while doing an internship and discipleship program. It wasn't until he was gone that he decided to tell me that he had feelings for me. HA. He is a wonderful person, and we were able to keep up some sort of long distance relationship...but as you can tell, things didn't work out. Anyway, one night while we were talking on the phone, he told me to download a Jason Mraz album from the iTunes store...because whenever he listened to some of the songs on there, they reminded him of me and he wanted me to know more of his feelings towards me. So I did. And was floored :). Today I share the most important song to me from that album...it's just nice to remember a time when I was loved and adored by someone...

Sleeping to Dream - Jason Mraz

And I
I'm dreaming of sleeping next to you and feeling like a lost little boy in a brand new town
I'm counting my sheep and each one that passes is another dream to ashes
And they all fall down.

And as I lay me down tonight
I close my eyes
What, what a beautiful sight

[Chorus:]
Sleeping to dream about you
And I'm so tired
Of having to live without you
But I don't mind
Sleeping to dream about you and I'm so tired

I found myself in the riches
Your eyes, your lips, your hair and you were everywhere
I woke up in the ditches, I hit the light and I thought you might be here
But you were nowhere (you were nowhere)
Well You were nowhere

And as I lay me back to sleep
Lord I pray that I can keep

[Repeat Chorus]

It's just a little a lullaby to keep myself from crying myself to sleep at night
Oh just a lullabye to keep from crying myself to sleep
Oh just a, just oh, just a little lullabye,

Sleeping to dream about you
And I'm so tired
Of having to live without you
And I'm so tired

iTunes Shuffle - Simply Amazed

Today's shuffle song pick is one I hold dear. Written and performed by one of the most incredible followers of Christ I've ever met...a true brother :), Jordan Frye. Here's a guy who's got talent, passion and humility like you've never seen. It's been a joy and privilege to watch him grow, and his musical ambitions flourish. I hope you enjoy the love he shares, and if you love him as much as I do, let me know - he performs in the San Diego area quite often. Also, his band "Urban Rescue" can usually be found leading worship at various Youth Camps(usually at Forest Home!) and Church services around the SoCal area...

Simply Amazed - Jordan Frye/Urban Rescue

All I see before me are broken pieces

But in my dream I caught a glimpse of you

Awakened by the sound I'm captivated

Falling more each day in love with You

Even Now

I'm looking up to heaven

Even Now

You're singing over me

So I come amazed by you

Amazed by you

Simply Amazed

To look into the eyes of tender mercy

As they pressed the thorns upon your brow

How can it be that you were thinking of me?

I never knew such love until now

Even Now

I'm looking up to heaven

Even Now

You're singing over me

So I come amazed by you

Amazed by you

Simply amazed

And I'm singing like its the first time...

With all my love

I've come undone

Simply Amazed

With all my love

For all You've done

Simply Amazed

*I couldn't get an embed, so visit the link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJqH1e9mZGg

iTunes Shuffle - Gunning Down Romance

Uh-oh, better get ready for this one. Lj's feeling a tad angry and bitter these past few days. So when this song came up, it fit the mood perfectly...

Gunning Down Romance by Savage Garden

Love and other moments are just chemical reactions in your brain
In your brain
And feelings of aggression are the absence of the love drug in
Your veins, in your veins
Love come quickly
Because I feel my self-esteem is caving in
It's on the brink
Love come quickly
Because I don't think I can keep this monster in
It's in my skin

Love and other socially acceptable emotions are morphine
They're morphine
Cleverly concealing primal urges often felt but rarely seen
Rarely seen
Love I beg you
Lift me up into that privileged point of view
The world of two
Love don't leave me
Because I console myself that HallmarkT cards are true
I really do

I'm gunning down romance
It never did a thing for me
But heartache and misery
Ain't nothing but a tragedy

Love don't leave me

Take these broken wings
I'm going to take these broken wings
And learn to fly
And learn to fly away
And learn to fly away

iTunes Shuffle - I Grieve

Oh you lucky person! Tonight you get to experience not one...but TWO wonderful songs from Lj's iPod :).

I heard the first song during my lunch today. It's been a favorite for years, for so many reasons. But as I listened to the lyrics...at that moment in my life, it brought on a whole new meaning for me. See, the thing is, on Friday my best friend is leaving to join the Peace Corp, traveling to South America for the next few years. I'm excited for the adventure and opportunities that await her and her husband, but am also fully aware of the fact that I do not handle loss in a healthy manner. When I was 14, and my grandmother had recently passed away, during her funeral and "after party" I locked myself in my parents bedroom, watching "My Father the Hero" fourteen times in a row...just kept rewinding that VHS :). Completely ridiculous. Although my friend is no where near death, it's still a huge loss in my life. I've never been in love, but I'd consider my relationship with her to be the closest thing to the experience. She's my deepest connection here on earth, and to be without her, I know it's going to take it's toll on me. Before I start crying...on to the first song. I dedicate it to her...:).

"When you come back down" by Nickel Creek

You got to leave me now, you got to go alone
You got to chase a dream, one that's all your own
Before it slips away
When you're flyin' high, take my heart along
I'll be the harmony to every lonely song
That you learn to play

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down

I'll keep lookin' up, awaitin' your return
My greatest fear will be that you will crash and burn
And I won't feel your fire
I'll be the other hand that always holds the line
Connectin' in between your sweet heart and mine
I'm strung out on that wire

And I'll be on the other end, To hear you when you call
Angel, you were born to fly, If you get too high
I'll catch you when you fall
I'll catch you when you fall

Bridge:
Your memory's the sunshine every new day brings
I know the sky is calling
Angel, let me help you with your wings

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare

I'll still be there
When you come back down
Take every chance you dare,
I'll still be there
When you come back down

**PS, have fun with this video...you might just liken our relationship to that of Frodo and Sam :)**

Haha, I hope you enjoyed that cheese. And that you actually listened to the beauty that is that song :)

Now for the next song on the shuffle, I do give a disclaimer...it's a bit sad. I heard it this evening

on my way home and definitely started some waterworks. I can discern that the song was written

in the context of death, but grieving in itself can take so many forms. I don't think I've allowed

myself to be fully affected yet by the thought that she will be gone for two years. So I imagine that

this song will be one that I can relate to perhaps on Saturday :).

"I Grieve" by Peter Gabriel

it was only one hour ago
it was all so different then
there's nothing yet has really sunk in
looks like it always did
this flesh and bone
it's just the way that you would tied in
now there's no-one home

i grieve for you
you leave me
'so hard to move on
still loving what's gone
they say life carries on
carries on and on and on and on

the news that truly shocks is the empty empty page
while the final rattle rocks its empty empty cage
and i can't handle this

i grieve for you
you leave me
let it out and move on
missing what's gone
they say life carries on
they say life carries on and on and on

life carries on
in the people i meet
in everyone that's out on the street
in all the dogs and cats
in the flies and rats
in the rot and the rust
in the ashes and the dust
life carries on and on and on and on
life carries on and on and on

it's just the car that we ride in
a home we reside in
the face that we hide in
the way we are tied in
and life carries on and on and on and on
life carries on and on and on

did I dream this belief?
or did i believe this dream?
now i can find relief
i grieve

I know that life will carry on...I'm counting on it. But right now, I'm grieving the loss of a most

treasured friend from my daily existence...

iTunes Shuffle - Haven't Met You Yet

Alrighty, so recently I've loved putting my iPod on shuffle and just seeing what pops up next on the playlist. When you have thousands of songs for Mr. iPod to choose from, sometimes it can be very interesting :). I decided that perhaps I would start sharing with you, my friendly readers, some of these great songs that I am hearing on a daily basis. Wonderful lyrics and great tunes are impacting me each day...and here I will share with you my insight :). I hope you enjoy.

I'm starting off, not with a random shuffle song, but one that I've adapted as my theme song for this year. You'll see why in a moment (or perhaps you figured it out from the blog post title!). Here it is, "Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Buble.

I'm not surprised,
Not everything lasts,
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.
Talk myself in,
I talk myself out,
I get all worked up,
Then I let myself down,

I tried so very hard not to lose it;
I came up with a million excuses,
I thought I thought of every possibility,

And I know some day that it’ll all turn out,
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out,
And I promise you kid that I give so much more than I get~ mmm.......
I just haven't met you yet.

Mmmmm ....

I might have to wait,
I’ll never give up,
I guess it's half timin', and the other half's luck,
Wherever you are,
Whenever it's right,
You'll come outta nowhere and into my life.

And I know that we can be so amazin',
And baby your love is gonna change me,
And now I can see every possibility, mmmmmm....

Somehow I know that it’ll all turn out,
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out,
And promise you kid, I'll give so much more than I get, mmmm....
I just haven't met you yet.

They say all’s fair
in love and war
But I won’t need to fight it,
we'll get it right an',
we'll be united

Somehow I know that it’ll all turn out,
And I'll work to work it out...
And promise you kid, I'll give so much more than I get, mmmm....
I just haven't met you yet.

what on earth...exactly.

i apologize in advance, but i haven't gotten around to those "happy emotions" i intended for this next blog. instead, stuff just keeps happening. i heard this song on my drive home today and it describes what i'm feeling/thinking almost exactly.

David Gray
My oh My...

What on earth is going on in my heart
Has it turned as cold as stone
Seems these days I don't feel anything
Less it cuts me right down to the bone
What on earth is going on in my heart

My oh my you know it just don't stop
It's in my mind I wanna tear it up
I've tried to fight it tried to turn it off
But it's not enough
It takes a lotta love
It takes a lotta love my friend
To keep your heart from freezing
To push on till the end
My oh my

What on earth is going on in my head
You know I used to be so sure
You know I used to be so definite
Thought I knew what love was for
I look around these days and I'm not so sure

My oh my you know it just don't stop
It's in my mind I wanna tear it up
I've tried to fight it tried to turn it off
But it's not enough
It takes a lotta love
It takes a lotta love my friend
To keep your heart from freezing
To push on till the end
My oh my you know I just can't win
I burn it down it comes right back again
What kinda world is this we're living in
where you never win
It takes a lotta love
It takes a lotta love these days
To keep your heart from freezing
To keep your spirit free

i havent slept in days. my stomach is in constant turmoil. and i sigh nearly every two minutes or so - perhaps a reminder to breathe. i am ANXIOUSLY awaiting blood test results. i feel like the remainder of my life is hanging on a thread. not a serious one, but what comes from these results will affect me. now if the doctors would only call...
i've decided that it is foolish to have notions about people. these past few days have shown me that even that person you thought was the kindest soul can prove himself to be malicious. and the cynic is merely hinding a gentle spirit. and for me, i am the biggest fool out there. such a wonderful self realization to reach.
last night, while i was NOT sleeping, i came to the conclusion that i HATE this time of year. may 21-june 7(give or take a day or two). these few weeks have held nothing but heartbreaking times for me for the past 3 years. what on earth is going on...?