how far i've come

so the other night, i took some time and read over some previously posted blogs from my myspace. i have to admit, most of them brought me to tears. these past few years have definitely been somewhat of a refining fire for me, and it was a blessing to be able to look back, to remember where i was, and be grateful for how far i've come. i thought it might be fun to recount my journey...here on the NEW blog...

*May of 2006, where FEAR NOT began...
may 06

*August of 2006, one of many "muscle spasm" stories...
august 06

*October of 2006, the detour that taught me about life...
october 06

*November of 2006, my first blog from central CA and dealing with the emptiness of change...
november 06

*April of 2007, finding a bit of lost Lj...
april 07

*June of 2007, Lj left forest home...
june 07

*July of 2007, my venting about sleezy guys! freaking awesome...
july 07

*August of 2007, Lj caught the changING fever...
august 07

*September of 2007, when i discovered that weak is the new strong...
september 07

*December of 2007, my screenplay develops a little twist :)
december 07

Wow, all that to say this...

i'm blessed to be where i am today. i've been through a lot of crap, seasons of pure joy, and stuff you wouldn't even imagine. but it's truly shaped me. not only have i changed, but i recognize change in those around me. and i embrace it. goodness, its amazing.

death and inspiration

michael crichton is dead. my favorite author is gone. when i first heard the news i started to cry. it may seem ridiculous to you but he was more than just an "author" in my eyes. his writing was joy for me, an escape from whatever reality i was in, a challenge of the ideals i held. and more than that, he was inspiration to me. he was a man who actually took passion in each of his subjects, learning as much as he could about each facet he included in his stories. when you found yourself enveloped in one of his novels, the characters and each detail in the story exhibited interest and passion. i loved reading his work.

i think ever since i read jurassic park (my first michael crichton experience), i wanted to be the kind of writer he is. and with each new endeavor into his literary world, whether in the science fiction and fantasy of dinosaurs, foreign political turmoil, gruesome historical legends, medical mysteries or environmental legal issues...he became somewhat of a hero. in the middle of all of those, i came across his autobiography, "travels", and was even more impressed on his open mind and adventurous spirit. more than just a box office and bestseller list hit, michael crichton proved himself to be great.

so now, it may not be as shocking to know that upon news of his death, i began to cry. however, the part in this story that breaks my heart even more...when my grandfather passed away just a few short years ago, i didn't shed a single tear. although we were blood, and i'd known him my entire life...i dont think i ever felt a connection to the man. most memories i have of him just make me upset or angry, and to be honest, those memories are few.

i place a high value on family. but what i'm feeling right now just goes to prove how even the simplest person can have an effect on people the world over. my grandfather perhaps had a slightly negative affect, and michael crichton has impacted me more than expected.

so i guess its just something to keep in mind, no matter who you are, your life is making an imprint in someone elses...you will always matter in some way to others...