The Call

I realize that I myself have not written much lately...I just keep posting song lyrics :). Unfortunately, most of the thoughts I've been having, and the situations that are happening, I don't feel like writing about. The other day, however, I heard a song on my trusty little iPod that gave me some inspiration. I came across it last year about this time, right about the same time that the Forest Home 2009 summer staff would have been starting their orientation. If you know me, there is no doubting how much I value my time spent on staff at Forest Home, they were my glory years :), and maybe I long for them a little too much sometimes. Anyhow, this song made me think of the power of being a part of something like the community of ministers I found at Forest Home, and how it will always be an experience that brings us pure joy, and provides for us an anchor in our ever changing lives.

The Call by Regina Spektor

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
Until it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
Until they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

Being a part of the staff at Forest Home was like gravity to me. Perhaps that is why it's practically impossible for me to let it go. In my time spent there, I knew who was. And in that, I was being used to my fullest capacity in the best way possible for that creation. As I stand here, a few years later, I'm completely lost. There is no gravity giving me roots, connecting me to much of anything anymore.

Like in this song (which, perhaps you've heard it before in The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian), serving in youth and camp ministry can be likened to a battle. We do what we can in a grander scheme of a fight for the souls, minds and hearts of teenagers and their mentors who come to visit us. We fight not with weapons, but with love...and understanding...and listening...and experiences. We have a battle cry for sure, the unending love and mercy of our Lord. As fellow warriors, we became friends, and then brothers and sisters...and ultimately soul mates. It's amazing the ties that I have to some of the people I went off to war with in those years at Creekside. No matter time or distance, the bond never weakens. And if you're a Creeker reading this...you'll fully agree with the line that says "you'll come back, when they call you...no need to say goodbye." :).

It's hard to be without that gravity, I wont lie. But as I've been considering this, and the reality that returning to Forest Home is not in my near future for many reasons, I've been brought to the realization that I have to find a new gravity. Something else to ignite such a passion as Forest Home did. In a new season of life, as I'm on the brink of turning 30 years old, I need to know who I am now. So I'm watching, and waiting...for that feeling, which that turns into a hope, then a quiet thought...and then a quiet word. I'm ready for the new me and the new gravity...