let me go on...

so apparently i have more readers than i knew of :). thanks to all of you who have sent me words of love and encouragement these past few days. i can't help but feel the amazing blessing of the people that God has placed in my life...whether from seasons past or those present.

it is for you lovely people that i bring some updates...

test results FINALLY came back from the doctor. blood tests were normal, so Rheumatoid Arthritis is ruled out. Fibromyalgia is still on the table. i have another doctor's appt on the 17th, which hopefully will be a stepping stone on this journey of figuring out what the hell is going on with my body. on the down side, i'm discovering that the pain is getting more and more frequent, and moving to other parts of my body. the upside - it's not as severe in those other parts :) haha. my back and neck still seem to be primary, but now my legs, elbows and arms are suffering. it seems i can't go a single day without something hurting to the point of distraction and prevention of normal activities.

my job is kicking my butt. last week i met with the youth pastor at my church to discuss my spiritual "s.h.a.p.e." and wasn't surprised to find that i was designed for some sort of ministry and service to youth (and youth like beings :)). it can be such an incredible thing to see how perfectly God has designed you for specific reasons, yet devasting in the same moment when you realize you aren't living up to your potential in them. i know that working front desk at a dermatology office is NOT what i was made for. i just wish windows and doors would present themselves. for the time being, i'm stuck in a stressful and sometimes irritating job (which, i am convinced, is adding to my physical pain). i am grateful to have said job, however. it keeps my bills paid and provides health insurance in this great time of need. for that i am glad. but i need joy through my everyday happenings, and THIS is not bringing it.

there's been a few decisions i have made this past week, very hard ones, that have affected some of the paths i was treading. i have decided to step away from the intentional living community for the time being, for personal reasons. i hated making that decision - but know that it's for the best right now. peace has come because i know deep in my heart that in that "project" was truth and goodness, and godliness. it will happen, i have no doubt :), and one day i hope to return to it. there are other decisions as well, but that'll have to be another blog :), lj is exhausted after a busy monday.

also, to all those new and unknown readers out there, i'd love to know if you have a blog that i can follow as well. i'm making it a goal to keep updated on your lives :) so let me know where i can read about you!