Please just be my darling...

Driving home from work last night, I was struck by some lyrics in one of the songs coming forth through my iPod. It's the chorus from Kate Walsh's "Bury My Head", which says...

"Why can't you be different from the rest?

Oh won't you surprise me instead?

I've had it up to here,

Please just be my darling, my dear..."

I may be wrong, but to me this is the cry of hope from most every single woman out there. Obviously, I was thinking about this on more of a personal level, but I've been proved that it's a pretty universal feeling. I thought about all of the failed relationships I've had in the past several years, and unfortunately all of the less than stellar men I've gotten myself involved with. And with each new "possibility", it is these thoughts that bring me hope. That maybe THIS one will be different than the rest...the track record shows that my hope is in vain. Because there has yet to be one that is different than the others. And I have had it up to here.

A girl has to wonder if perhaps there isn't ONE out there that is different from the rest. Maybe they ALL are the same insensitive fools. I realize that perfection isn't attainable (in myself and in a future husband), and have never claimed to be searching for it. But it seems that in the universal collection of eligible men out there, they all are stagnant pieces at the bottom of a pond - simply growing algae and scum. (Sorry, that was a bit much, but you get the point). In the beginning, they make you believe that, in fact, they are different from the others you've come across. A charming prince, a caring protector, an infatuated admirer. But time definitely does reveal the scum...leaving us ladies scarred to our core and alone - again.

But maybe, it's just that I've set my standards too high. That instead of looking for a "warrior poet" (as a friend recently described), I should just expect the worse from the men I come into relationship with. That perspective would at least save me from the inevitable disappointment.

Mind you, this is all going through my head in the 7 minute drive from my work to my home :).

A few hours later, I received a heartbreaking phone call from one of my girl friends - one I consider in a sisterly capacity, holding her heart inside of mine for over 10 years. The guy she was seeing had ended things, citing that there was no "romantic attraction" to her. I had to do everything in my power to not drive over to his house and share with him a piece of my uncensored mind (and/or fist). First of all, MEN...don't start a relationship with one of us fragile women unless there is a romantic attraction. Second of all, please don't steal away our physical attentions unless you have the intention to actually respect and care for them (in layman's terms - don't kiss and make out unless you can back it up with the romantic passion that those things were made for). And lastly, be smarter in your endeavors. Unfortunately, this same boy-scum is one that caused myself a heartbreak earlier in the year - and I cannot believe that he's making the same mistakes.

In all of this emotion last night, I found myself driving - again. I just cried to myself. And declared out loud to a Lord whom I know to be a provider and a comforter, "Please, God, prove me wrong. Show me that there is one worthy - one that is different. I just want that darling...that dear."

Not wanting to sound desperate, I truly mean it. God, Universe, Man - prove me wrong. Restore my hope that I'm not waiting in vain...otherwise - I best just give up now and save myself the trouble.

And while I'm at it...I just want to say to the "men" that might be reading... Be men. Not boys. And don't treat us ladies as insignificant toys to mess with and throw out as you please. But remember, that even though we try to present ourselves with strength and confidence, most of the time we're easily broken...we shatter just like glass. Be our protectors, our caregivers, our support and strength. Offer to us meaningful companionship instead of momentary relations. Don't be afraid of honesty, practice integrity. Give us reason to trust you. Stop acting so foolish. Let us love you as we should. Without condition - and spare us from having any conditions to NOT love you as we could.